I was wondering whether you’d show up to the party this year.
Not sure if I’ve written about this before (oh look! I have!), but every year around my birthday I start to feel down. Much like January 1st inspires introspection and the creation of resolutions, my birthday is always a period of reflection. Unfortunately, I never really come away from the experience feeling positive about my current situation in life. I’m always poor (or unemployed), single, out-of-shape, or otherwise inadequate compared to where I feel I should be. And, unfortunately, this year is no different.
Mostly, I’m frustrated by how broke I feel all the time. A few months ago, I paid off my credit card debt and was feeling FANTASTIC!! It seemed like things were looking up and I could finally afford to start doing things like improving my wardrobe or buying a bike. But then I had the great idea to buy a smartphone, and my finances went to Hell once more. I love my phone – don’t get me wrong – but it’s really at the root of all my current financial woes. Not only did it put nearly $300 on my credit card, but now I have a recurring $100 bill (that money previously could have gone to paying off my debts, but no longer).
Of course, it’s too late for buyers remorse now. The end result is that I spend most of each month feeling like I have no money to spend on anything. In fact, I’ve been pretty much broke for the last week and a half. Here it is, my 25th birthday, and I don’t have enough money to buy myself a gift, even a modest one.
But! The wheels of change ARE turning, and maybe in a few months this will all feel like a bad dream. Overall, things in my life are pretty good. I’m living in a city I love. I have a wonderful girlfriend. And if nothing else, I have a job that pays me enough to keep me afloat. Life could certainly be worse.
Maybe that’s not the best outlook to have, but it’s the only one I’ve got at the moment.