I have a sneaking suspicion that the Girl Scouts are in cahoots with the devil.
Three days ago was Ash Wednesday, and if you happen to be Catholic, you know what this means: Lent. For those not in the know, Lent is a 40 day period – starting with Ash Wednesday and ending with Easter – when Catholics traditionally give up certain vices or add something to their routine that will hopefully bring them closer to God. It mirrors the forty days of fasting in the desert Jesus went through, assaulted by the temptations of Satan.This year, like last year, I gave up all forms of sweets, which means no pie, cake, cookies, ice cream, candy, or anything that might be considered a dessert.
Two days ago, my order of Girl Scout cookies came in: two boxes of Thin Mints, two boxes of Samoas, and a box of Lemonades. Can you do the math?
The timing of these two events seems too coincidental, especially considering that this is not the first time I’ve given up sweets for Lent. I had the exact same resolution last year, and my “Easter Basket” consisted entirely of Girl Scout cookies. And it isn’t just that they start selling their cookies during Lent; by the time Easter rolls around, the Girl Scouts has closed up their cookie racket until next year.
So because I can’t buy cookies after Easter, I’m forced to stock up on them during the Lenten period. The boxes sit on my shelf, always tempting, and every time I go to the grocery store I have their confectionery crack pushed on me. These peddlers of sin are everywhere!
It’s a conspiracy! I’m telling you!!